Making the Summer Purge a Family Affair

By Michelle Mady

We all know about spring cleaning, right? The time of year when our calendar tells us that it’s time to come out of cleaning hibernation and get our homes back in order. Put away the winter boots and see how many bathing suits don’t fit anymore. In my house we do this a little bit, but what I really look forward to is the summer purge.

What I really look forward to is the summer purge.

Spring cleaning leads to random bags and boxes of items to give away strewn all over the house. The clothing that doesn’t fit or the toys that have not been touched in a while. Every year my well-meaning mom brain suggests we keep them for a yard sale. Our last yard sale was no less than 6 years ago. By summer I am in full purge mode, and I pack up items and donate or toss them. It’s refreshing.

But, much like typical maintenance cleaning, if I do this purge myself, I get resentful. I mean, honestly, of the 10 bags, about a third of a bag doesn’t belong to me. Why should I have to do all this spring cleaning AND the summer purging? Not cool, family. Not cool.

So, I bring my husband and five children into the mix. Getting them to clean in general has been a journey, but this is a whole other ball game. How did I get them to part with those toys that are their favorite when I try to toss them? How did I insist that the sweatshirt stopped fitting a year ago? Even getting the teenagers to go through their clothing is a chore in itself.

Even getting the teenagers to go through their clothing is a chore in itself.

It took some time to figure out, but the best way to get others on board is to ask.

Seems simple, but I don’t mean nag, expect or demand. I also don’t mean request, beg or plead. Just ask! Ask in a way that meets them in their developmental abilities and is just a step more than you expect them to do.

Ask your toddler to pick out four toys to give to another child who needs toys. Ask your preschooler to find five shirts that they do not like to wear. Your early elementary school-aged child can easily sort through one clothing drawer at a time while your tween can handle filling a box with donations. Even my teenagers were able to make piles labeled “keep,” “sell” and “donate.” They are working with me to list their “sell” items online.

When we are really specific asking for help, it is met with less resistance. Yes, I said “less” and not “no.” There might need to be boundaries placed during the great purge. My family spends some time doing this on a Saturday and once we are done we have ice cream sundaes for dinner. We have also “bought” the things the kids want to sell from them, then we can decide if it is actually worth the work to sell them.

One suggestion I have seen is to reconsider letting children get a new toy once they have donated a few. While this can be really beneficial to older children, it might send the wrong message to younger children. Donations shouldn’t happen to get something new - they should happen because it is something with life left that you don’t use or want anymore. If you get something new, it can diminish the reason for giving.

One suggestion I have seen is to reconsider letting children get a new toy once they have donated a few. While this can be really beneficial to older children, it might send the wrong message to younger children.

The spring cleaning/summer purge time of year can be a time that feels like renewed energy.  But it can also be overwhelming. Getting your family to participate brings down the work and increases the refreshment level for everyone. 

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